I can’t promise that I’ll be updating regularly but I recently had the itch to rant and was reminded that I had this account. To make up for my lack of dedication, here’s a picture.

I really need to get a job sometime soon because I’m going to lose my mind. Once school starts I’ll have something to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is a tad bit pathetic but damn, I need some kind of activity. I’m not doing much of anything so I don’t have anything to write about here. I’m sure my five random views a day don’t mind though – you guys are just looking for mc chris lyrics it looks like. If you really want to know the lyrics check out his damn message board you scrubs.

I’m sorry, that sounded a bit hostile. It’s these fucking sour skittles Gary sent me. They’re wrecking my mouth and my life, all at the same time. I eat maybe one per hour because I can’t handle the sour. I’m on the last bag and I swear these things have become even more sour from stewing on my desk. Asshole skittles. Gary has officially physically harmed me through the internet.

Nobody is ever hiring. Anybody that has a job currently did so by use of magic and trickery. If a location says they’re hiring, they are liars. Don’t believe me? Turn in an application. Be amazed at how you never receive a phone call from them. It’s actually kind of impressive.

Sad day when learning is the activity you’re looking forward to the most. I should have a blast getting lost in the single building all of my classes are in. Oh did I tell you my books cost me $342.27? My books cost me $342.27. Did I tell you I need a job? Yeah, I need a job. Bills don’t pay themselves, sadly.

Somebody hire me?

I had a job interview on Friday and so far it’s not looking like I’ll get the job. Either the guy I’m talking to is lying or the owner really is that much of a prick. The guy that interviewed me has to get approval from the owner but apparently the owner never works. Since this job opportunity seems to be going no where I’m gonna have to start looking again tomorrow. I really would have enjoyed working for Play N’ Trade as they remind me of a Gamestop with a soul.

I ended up having to drive 15 or so miles to pick up my modem because someone at Embarq put me in the system as providing my own modem. While 15 miles doesn’t sound awful, we’re talking about 15 Orlando miles here. While having to pick up the modem myself sucked a bit, Joey (this guy Embarq guy on Twitter) creditted my account for the trouble I went through. Very cool.

And holy shit, the difference is astonishing. Pages actually load properly and in a timely manner now. I have a stable ping playing games! Switching to Embarq is one of the better choices I’ve made recently. INC Group can eat a bag of dicks; I cancelled their internet today along with the satellite. Too broke to pay for channels I never watch.

My father visited me on Friday and we saw G.I. Joe. Much to my surprise I ended up enjoying the film. A little over-the-top at first, but once you’re in the film your suspended disbelief kicks on and everything is a blast. Hanging out with my dad was fun although I wish we had more time to hang out.

Syrup that clogs the tubes of the internet isn’t good though.

On July 24th I officially moved into my new apartment and life has never been better. Well, life that doesn’t involve my internet. You see, I was left to choose between two ISPs when moving in: INC Group (a company I had never heard of before) or Embarq (somewhat known here in Central Florida). INC is the company that the complex has flyers for, so I went ahead and chose them.

Bad choice. Since the day I moved in I haven’t been able to play a full game of anything without my ping flucuating drastically or getting kicked off the server completely due to too high of a ping. I’ll give them this though – their tech support gave me quite the hearty laugh. After 30 minutes of being on the phone with their tech guy, his supervisor finally got back to him on what I should do: “Call Steam.” I laughed and the tech dude just said, “Wow.” Possibly the most hilarious suggestion I’ve ever received from tech support. It’s apparent that this company is ran by a bunch of morons, and now the tech support people even know that (if they didn’t already).

So today after a bit of research and a phonecall to AT&T (they manage a server that is in my route to the outside world) I was informed that INC is overloading their system and that they need to upgrade their shit. Considering that likelihood of a company upgrading their servers for one user is extremely low, I’ve decided to go ahead and change to Embarq in hopes that they aren’t run by a group of idiots.

Bad part about Embarq is that they require a phoneline due to being DSL. I ordered the 5Mbps package so I’m really hoping to get a good stable connection. Wish me luck?

I digress. Like a kid on Christmas I tore through the packaging, eagerly awaiting the candy hidden behind the wrapper. With the packaging removed I immediately popped the disc into my desktop so that I could rip the songs and put them onto my Zune.

The cover reveals more of the little devil Part One featured.

I’ve got to admit, the skits have definitely improved since Part One. Rocky’s Robot Butler was really the only skit from Part One that really made me chuckle. There’s just something hilarious about picturing mc doing a fist bump with a robot. Anyway, all three skits from Part Two take place from the underworld’s version of Legend of the Hidden Temple (with a little Nickelodeon GUTS thrown in too), GTFO. Gemberling and Chris had me rolling, especially Chris’ impression of Genghis Khan. I only have one issue and it’s with the last skit: listening to Gemberling name hunters started to get a little dull. Started off hilarious but just became too monotonous.

After the first skit finishes, Zuckuss’ Prius starts up and takes over your mind. The third bounty hunter song in mc’s series, Zuckuss talks about him and his partner 4-LOM. I’m not too informed on the Star Wars series so I can’t say much for the lyrics. Despite that I really enjoy this song. It doesn’t have quite the appeal that Fett or IG-88 had, but i’ts still a great song that can stand on it’s own feet.

Neville is the second song from Part Two, although it’s not exactly new. mc revealed it as a present to his fans a few months ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less amazing now that it’s on a record. With a sweet bass line supporting the beat, Neville discusses just exactly how bad ass this little kid from Hogwarts is. Snape may think Longbottom is a fuck up but we all know the truth.

Potato Cakes starts up after the second skit and is about the life of a fast food worker. Featuring a nice Casio keyboard background, mc recounts stories of being robbed and smoking with his mananger. According to Chris this song is the product fan stories about their horrible experiences working at minimum wage fast food joints.

After Potato Cakes is my favorite song from the album. Originally I expected to not like Japanese Maid all that much after listening to the 30 second snippet mc featured on his MySpace page. Wow, I couldn’t have been more of a fool. This song features an amazing flow from mc and a pretty tight techno-esque beat to wrap the song up. The lyrics go from cleaning mc’s house to…well, “cleaning” certain areas. I can’t get enough of this song; I’ve listened to it at least 20 times since listening to the entire album.

Every song on Part Two is nothing short of a hit. Like I said, Japanese Maid is my favorite but only by a very small margin. The extra wait for this album was completely worth it.  mc is going to have a hard time beating out the pure awesome that flows from my speakers whenever Part Two is playing. I can only hope Part Three is as great as this.

If you’d like to purchase Part Six Part Two head over to mc chris’ merchandise store at http://www.indiemerchstore.com/mcchris.

I’m still listening to fucking Japanese Maid…

Online gaming pretty much encompasses all multiplayer gaming I do these days. If it isn’t Unreal then it’s Team Fortress 2 or Left 4 Dead. All of this multiplayer action only takes place on my computer because console online gaming really isn’t my thing. If I’m playing a game where I’m required to out-skill another player you know for damn sure I’ll be using my keyboard and mouse. Even then, that’s not my biggest beef with console online gaming. No, the part that takes the cake is paying money to play a game online. I’m looking at you, Xbox Live.

Yes, the service that almost every console gamer blows their load over. A gold subscription will cost you $50 bucks for the whole year (less if you find a card on sale) and will allow you to play games online and access content when it becomes available. A silver subscription is free, and thus is absolute shit. With a silver account one cannot play games online and typically has to wait two weeks before having access to any downloadable content, even if said content is free. Want to download that new free Guitar Hero track? Sorry, wait two weeks. Essentially, you have to pay money to get free content and to have the ability to pay for content before people. Awesome, yes?

So since the player has to pay a subscription free to play the game they just bought with their friends, you’d at least think Microsoft could put out for some dedicated servers, right? Nope. AS FAR AS I KNOW (read: to the best of my knowledge), a player creates a lobby; other players join lobby; server is run off of lobby creator’s system. Are you kidding me? I can’t speak for anyone else, but in my experience doing this with any PC game results in HORRIBLE gameplay. Horrible memories of trying to play Counter Strike with my middle school buddies dance in my head…

So how is Microsoft able to wrangle these console fools into paying for their horrible service? These people don’t know any better. They hold on to their controllers and talk into 25 cent microphones thinking this is the greatest invention since powdered milk.  The even worse thing about it is these Xbox fanboys will defend Xbox Live to the death. Mention PC gaming near a fanboy and you’ll hear comments like, “YAH WELL A GUD PC COST LIKE $5,000 AND I CANT SODDER.”  These children are sadly mistaken as a decent gaming computer can be built for under $600. Say that and they usually retort with some grumbling and about how that still costs more than an Xbox. Ok, I’ll give you that. You get what you pay for, though. Most of the games I’ve played on my 360 recently have absurd frame rate issues, many times to the point of being unplayable. Grand Theft Auto IV comes to mind.

With all this complaining, I must know of some service that greatly surpasses what Xbox Live offers, right? A combination of things absolutely demolish Xbox Live in every way possible:

The first ingredient in my awesome soup starts off with Steam. Universally despised when originally released, Steam has grown to be a huge staple of PC gaming. Many people these days refuse to buy games from anything other than Steam because of its ability to automatically update games without any input from the user. Steam has an extremely large library of games it offers, even including many retro games from the likes of iD Software and LucasArts. It also gives a user a single name across multiple games, something Xbox Live touted as an amazing feature. Players can access the Steam Overlay mid-game, allowing them to communicate through text or voice with friends online, even if they’re in completely different games. Like srsly, Steam has become an amazing giant in the gaming community. I’m sorry, I’ll get off of Valve’s dick.

After Steam, throw in a little VoIP service (your choice of either Ventrilo or Teamspeak). A dedicated server for either one of these programs can cost as little as $5 a month and every penny is worth it. These programs allow multiple people to connect to a server and talk as if you’re all in the same room, and being in a game isn’t a requirement.

Lastly, toss in a dedicated game server to complete this recipe. While these can get a bit pricey, it is completely worth it if you enjoy gaming online. I’ve played on horrible servers and the experience is not an enjoyable one.

I’ll admit, the PC route is definitely more complicated and will cost a player more money, but the experience is a far better one. You get what you pay for in the gaming world. The console kiddies can enjoy their games blissfully ignorant; I’ll be gaming on smooth servers and talking to my friends, not 13 year-old children.

At least Sony made the PSN free.

Oh ho, am I ever the witty one. I say this not only because Sonic CD is an older game, but also because of the new game mechanic that is present only in this odd Sonic game.

Sonic CD is a game I never had the chance to play because I never even knew of this so-called Sega CD attachment.  I didn’t find out about it until I was in my early teens and had already turned my perfect condition Sega Genesis into a piece of “art.” I know, not the brightest idea I’ve had but I needed to get an A in the class. For what it’s worth, my Genesis robot was bad-ass. Anyway, after learning of Sonic CD I admitted defeat and accepted that I’d never get the chance to play the game.

Years later and now the proud owner of a PSP, I decided to look up whether someone had made a Sega CD emulator. First hit on my search reveals PicoDrive, a Genesis/CD emulator. Great success! Not only have I found a Sega CD emulator, I’ve also discovered a decent Genesis emulator. I instantly find Sonic CD and throw everything onto my memory stick. Seconds later, I’m playing the game that eluded me for  years. Something feels a little different though…

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and Sonic CD were developed by two entirely different teams. Yuji Naka began to dislike Sega of Japan and thus moved to America along with half of Sonic Team to develop Sonic 2 with STI (Sega Technical Institute, not Sexually Transmitted Infection). Naoto Ohshima, Sonic’s creator, stayed in Japan and began developing Sonic CD. Initially the two games were supposed to be the same, but Sonic CD started to become a completely different game.

As the title mentions loosely, Sonic CD introduced an odd time mechanic. On top of the standard checkpoint lamps, the player will find lamps that say “Past” and “Future.” Hit one of these lamps and maintain 88 mil—no, no I won’t do it. To time travel you need to hit one of these lamps  and maintain a decent speed for a few seconds, after which you’ll be treated to Sonic spinning through some fancy colored sparkles.

Welcome to Sonic CD’s gimmick. Each level has a Present, Past, Bad Future and Good Future. The concept here is that a machine from the past is creating the robots that inhabit the levels of the game. If you don’t destroy this machine the future will become bad. So Sonic, being the nice hedgehog he is, travels to the past in every level to destroy said machine and make the future good. This is not a requirement though – if you don’t destroy the machine you can still beat the game, you just won’t get the good ending. The chaos emeralds are still present but instead are called “time stones.” If a player collects all the time stones before finishing the game, each level automatically gets a good future without having to destroy the machine.

So is the game any good? In short, yes. It is a very fun game that brings an interesting idea to the table. Is time travel a concept that fits into the Sonic universe? No, not in the least. Every level typically has an area that will allow the player to maintain the required speed to time warp. Other than those areas players might find it hard to gain enough speed and maintain said speed to time travel. Also, who wants to backtrack in a Sonic game to destroy some machine? I know I don’t. The Sonic I grew up with was about speed and finishing the level as fast as possible.

The feel of Sonic CD is very similar to Sonic 1. While it is possible to get some good speed, the level design often prevents you from blazing through. Since Sonic CD was developed with Sonic’s creator, the levels have less of a focus on raw speed like Sonic 2. With the Sega CD’s ability to feature CD quality audio, the music in the game is fantastic and sounds wonderful.  Some diehard fans may claim that the American soundtrack is inferior to other versions but I found it to be rather enjoyable.

I highly recommend Sonic CD for any hardcore Sonic fan. If you’re not that huge on Sonic games this one probably isn’t going to hook you on the series. It pretty much is a different beast than Sonic 2 and forward, but one worth playing if you really enjoyed the first Sonic the Hedgehog game.

But, as most people would say, yesterday was the day I evolved from teenager to adult. I spent a good portion of the day in bed with my girlfriend, even taking a nap sometime around 3:00PM. After waking up from our awesome nap we decided to get our slurpee on! For the unaware: 7-Eleven gives out free slurpees every year on July 11th, so every July 11th I get a birthday slurpee! While they aren’t very large, a free slurpee is still badass. Because we were a tad bit sleepy the girlfriend and I also purchased Monsters.

So fucking delicious.

Once we returned from our slurpee quest the both of us decided we needed to accomplish something today, so I did a bit of Trigonometry homework while Sara worked on her Economics homework. Hells yeah, Cameron does homework on his birthday.

When it came time for the consuming of food Shepherd’s Pie was on the menu. In case you’re unaware of what Shepherd’s Pie is, 1) It’s amazing; 2) It’s cheese on top of potatoes on top of corn on top of meat; 3) It’s damn good.

ACTION ‘TATOES!

Once the feast was in our bellies it was time to venture out into the dark of the night. Where might we be going at 8:30 at night? But of the course the greatest place on Earth: Putt Putt.

That’s right, I played fuckin’ mini-golf on my birthday. Sara and I had been eyeing this place for a few months now, waiting for it to eventually open. Not sure when it opened, but we wrecked that place last night.

Oh yes.

This is most likely the coolest damn mini-golf place, anywhere. Not only do you play putt-putt, but you also have to look out for six items for their object hunt. Find all six items and you get a prize at the end! Sadly we only found five out of the six objects listed, but we’ll be prepared next time. Even though we didn’t find all of them we both had a great time playing mini-golf.

Overall this was a very successful birthday. I had a fantastic time hanging out with the girl I love. I don’t think I would have had it any other way.

Prototype broke me. From the second I was thrust into the game, thoughts of mid-air karate kicking would not leave my mind. Laying in bed at night I would picture Alex Mercer carelessly running through New York, smacking people and toppling over cars lest they get in his path of destruction. What is wrong with me? Do I truly wish to accomplish something I have not done in so many years? Am I actually developing the urge to…beat this game?

Yeah, I was, and yes, I did.

Prototype is considered to be one of those sandbox superhero games, which means you have super human powers and the world is yours to wreak havoc upon. If you’re playing this game for its in-depth story, you’ll be sadly disappointed. While Prototype has a story, it’s so convoluted and confusing often times you’ll find yourself leaning back and saying, “What does that even mean?”

Quick and dirty: Military tested biological warfare virus “Blacklight” in Hope, Idaho. Elizabeth  Greene and her son survive the outbreak of the virus and are put into containment for research. Military continues research of Blacklight with company GENTEK. After numerous GENTEK employees begin disappearing, Alex Mercer decides to steal the virus as a form life insurance. Alex gets cornered by Blackwatch members (special forces people) and ends up destroying the vial containing the virus thus releasing it to the city of New York. After waking up on an operating table, Alex no longer possess memory of his past and can perform curiously amazing feats, such as leaping over a very high fence or survive being shot.

The meat of the game involves you playing a flashback essentially, as occasionally you’ll be treated to a CGI movie of Mercer speaking to a masked soldier about how everything went down. The story progesses similarly to GTA3 in that you complete “missions.” To successfully complete these missions you’ll need to upgrade Alex’s powers with experience points. Don’t fret about not having enough points though as the game hands them out like buckets of candy. That doesn’t mean the game turns into an overpowered borefest though. This games difficulty ramps up hard and fast, throwing every punch it can and more. I’m not gonna lie to you, I became extremely frustrated at certain points. The amount of curse words flowing from my mouth would have made Scarface shudder in terror.

Is that such a bad thing though? When I finished the game I actually welcomed the extreme difficulty. It’s something that video games have been lacking as of recently. Take a look back at recent games that hold your hand all the way though, never truly allowing you to break free from that grasp. You’re not my mom, let go of me. Prototype not only lets go of your hand, it picks you up and hurls you at a brick wall.

While the graphics aren’t going to make you shit your pants, they certainly aren’t 5.5 out of 10 bad (I’m looking at you, IGN). I played the game on my computer at the highest possible settings so I’m sure it looked better than its console counterparts. Even though the graphics weren’t A+ material they never took away from how much fun the game was and that’s all that matters to me. Oh, and to address something that Eurogamer said: “Radical includes Crackdown-style orbs, but the poor draw distance means you stumble onto them rather than really discovering them…” I’m sorry, but were you playing the game on dated hardware? I had no issue spotting the hidden packages and didn’t really experience any sort of draw distance issue. Also, of course you stumble onto them: they’re called hidden packages for a reason.

Bottom line: Prototype is a balls-out action game that never stops challenging your gaming skill. Most reviewers bashed the game due to the difficulty but I’ve decided to praise it. Not since Donkey Kong have I literally cursed out a game. If you’re in the mood for some mindless and stupid-amazing fun, don’t hesitate to check out Prototype. While it may not be a must buy it certainly is worth a rental or two.

The Comfort Wipe is…a stick. Said stick grips onto toilet paper (or toliet paper, as the box says) and…comforts…the wipe…

It’s a fucking stick to help people wipe their ass. Expect a review whenever my dignity is completely gone. Ugh.

Moving on from the subject of bowel movements, today I opened the gifts my girlfriend gave to me. The only thing I knew about them was that they came from the Valve Store, instantly making them the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. Little did I know it would only get better when I actually opened the shipping! Inside I found a Left4Dead shirt and the Spy vs. Sniper poster.

Fucking. Awesome.

So far this birthday is shaping up to be a great one. Won’t you celebrate it with me come 12:12AM on July 11th?

Listening to: Ice Capped by McVaffe